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Separation anxiety

July 26, 2013

I haven’t been posting as often as I used to. The main culprit is that, after 2.5 years, I’ve returned to work part-time. I know, I know — 4.5 months pregnant is a good time to go back to work. But, it was a can’t-pass-it-up opportunity. One of my most-favorite colleagues from my first job in Chicago now works at a Boston-based company. She’ll be my (very flexible) boss. It’s mostly working from home, and only 20 hours a week. Couldn’t really ask for anything more. I figured, if I’m ever going back, this is the way to do it.

So far I’m really glad that I’m doing it. But it has been stressful at times — not so much in the work aspect, but in the mothering aspect. I stressed about leaving J with someone else — even for such a short amount of time each week. (Would he feel like I was abandoning him? Would he be sad, especially when I’m holed up in a room in the house on calls?) Lucky for me, he’s an incredibly flexible child who loves new people. Today, I had to spend the whole day in the office and I left him with a relatively new babysitter.  I wondered if he’d be upset, seeing me drive off in the morning, or ask about me during the day. “I’ll be home a little bit after your nap,” I told him. “When the moon comes out?” he said. “No, way before that. Just a little after you wake up.” And he smiles at me and keeps showing the babysitter his toys — quite excitedly. Didn’t even blink an eye when I drove off.

As it turns out, I’m the one with the separation anxiety.

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